Why is being vulnerable so damn hard?

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage.” “People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.” Brene Brown

Brene makes being vulnerable sound easy… but it’s so dam hard!

Whether it’s meeting new people, a new job, stepping outside of the life you’ve known and are comfortable in, or just taking a chance no matter what it might be.

Being vulnerable isn’t easy, it leaves us open, exposed, our fears and insecurities bubble to the top so fast it’s really hard to stop them, however, if we take the time to let them come up, to face them and work out what they are about then we can learn so much about ourselves.

We can learn why we keep the lid on certain emotions, why we wear a mask and pretend all is well, why we have the reactions we have and so much more. These can be uncomfortable to move through, be it moving through by ourselves, with someone that can support us, or with professional help, the most important thing is to examine, write, feel, sit in the discomfort and break through those barriers and behaviors that have haunted us over an unknown amount of time.

It’s also important to know what our triggers are, as we don’t want to be sitting with a friend in a vulnerable moment and suddenly both be needing to be lifted up but unable to help ourselves let alone our friend.

This year has brought up a lot of vulnerabilities for me, stepping away from my friends and a city I knew to walk into the unknown in countries where I couldn’t even speak the language, facing saying bye to people over and over again, building connections only to see them take off on a bus never knowing when you’ll see them again, having life change direction so fast it made my head spin and since then change after change coming quickly at me.

During this time I’ve found stability in daily routines, from a morning walk to lunchtime yoga, meal prepping to having my favorite tea to enjoy during the day and now that life is resettled, having set up life in a new city and making new connections.

I’m thankful that I love to connect with new people, that I’m curious, and that I am in a place with friends and family around me, as there is so much uncertainty right now and even though I’m trying to stay away from the news I can feel the energy, the uncertainty, the fear, but through it, I have to see and feel the hope, that we won’t be normal again but we will be a new normal and not one to fear but one that will see us be able to move forward with confidence and joy.

Now is the time to do the things you’ve always wished you had, take the chances, open ourselves to new opportunities, challenges, people, love and more, find out who we really are and what we are really capable of, as if we don’t we will never know and we can’t live in fear of ourselves and our dreams, and that requires being vulnerable.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”  Brené Brown