In life we go through many seasons and at times it can seem that we are repeating them, perhaps this is our subconscious letting us reset and start again, or maybe there has been a lesson we need to learn and as yet haven't.
I find myself in this cycle every now and then, right now I know I am certainly having a reset and this is both exciting and terrifying! What if I make a wrong decision, or is it impossible to do so? Surely, as long as we learn from the lesson, grow and move forward then it has served its purpose... I would love your thoughts.
Recently, I listened to the audio version of The Power of Vulnerability by the wonderful Brené Brown, and highly recommend to anyone at any stage, especially whilst moving through a time of uncertainty. Brené talks you through how in our culture we see vulnerability as weakness, and in her words, "we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birth place of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity and love."
Personally this is coming true in my journey, for me being vulnerable is being open to new opportunities, seeing what doors will be opened, being excited to step through or not afraid to close. Through this time I have met so many encouraging and amazing people, reconnected with those I have met over the years and seen the generosity of many, lessons I am learning daily to be grateful for generosity and to accept advice and wisdom from people who have gone before me.
To be reconnecting with lost passions and ignite the creativity that was been shelved over the busy years, has started a journey of self discovery and finding out who I am, what I am and why I am here. Too often I feel we can go through life ticking off each milestone, (like a baby learning to crawl, walk and run), telling ourselves we will start living when we have achieved X or Y. This I want to stop, to stop being afraid of the 'what if', to embrace the unknown and run with the journey of life.
To redefine definitions, such as Brené did with the definition of vulnerability - "I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let's think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment's notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow - that's vulnerability."
So as we have turned the new season into Autumn, or for the Northern Hemisphere - Spring, lets think of what definitions we have that we want to redefine. What milestones do we want to achieve or do we want to throw convention out the window as we create our lives.
I know I am a work in progress and always will be, I am here for a purpose and that may not come clear to me this year or next, however I know it will.
For now I will leave you with another favourite quote and also the cornerstone of Brene's book Daring Greatly:
A speech Teddy Roosevelt gave in 1910. In it, Roosevelt said:
"It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles,
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who at the worst, if he fails,
at least fails whilst daring greatly."